October Oatmeal Fest

Oh The Horridge!!! (sorry couldn't resist)

Hi guys,

I recently realised that I haven’t posted anything porridge related on here for a while (and I’m not counting my pumpkin spiced granola as a porridge-related thing – granola is an entirely separate species as I’m sure you’re aware). So it’s been a good while since I shared a variety of my favourite breakfast – at least a month I would say.

‘Boo you whore!’

Yes, yes I know, How out of character for me, especially considering that I am a direct descendant of Goldilocks. I don’t need the blood work to prove this; I just know it’s true. However, my love for oats has not always been prevalent in my life and it got me wondering as to why. In fact I don't think I ever enjoyed oats as a child and my theory of explanation actually points to Goldilocks as the reason behind this. This classic children's tale is pretty well known - girl finds cottage - yadayadayada - eats some porridge, sits on her arse, naps in some beds - yadayadayada - bears come home and find her - yadayadayada - the end, but did anyone else ever get told the version of that story where the bears eat her alive at the end? I most certainly did!

Either people thought that kids should have a realistic understanding of death by at least the age of three back in the 90’s or the adults in my school were quite twisted – most likely both. The moral of the story is pretty solid though – don’t steal food from bears because they’ll like, eat you and stuff. Truth! Good to see my Zoology degree is clearly being well-validated…

Regardless of whether or not the bedtime story ended with Goldilocks being disemboweled by anthropomorphic  woodland mammals, I’m sure come the next morning us 90’s kids never really had a craving for a big bowl of porridge – unless of course it was drowned in honey. Maybe Goldilocks actually managed to put a whole generation off of oats or maybe we were just a bit fussy and wanted Coco pops on repeat. Unfortunately the debate is ever on-going.

Whatever, the times have changed and so have we as porridge is now ‘totally cool’ (is that what the kids are saying?) and is more popular than ever! With the night of Halloween creeping ever closer and the evenings starting to become full of all those wicked werewolves, grave-robbing ghouls and viscous vampires, I thought to myself, why not make mornings equally as eerie but, what to add to a nice bowl of oats to give it a spooky twist?

You can have a guess if you like.

Go on, it never hurts to have a guess – just say (or think in your head if you’re reading this at a public computer and don’t want people to think you’ve gone a bit funny) whatever pops into your mind.

Do you have an idea of what it might be?

That’s right, asbestos!

I’ve found that adding asbestos to the oats really gives them a nice zing and alters the texture beyond recognition.

Ok, I’m just joking, obviously I don’t eat asbestos (and neither should you, no, never, not even on Pancake Day). Of course, the actual answer is pumpkin. If you’ve read any of my other recent posts than you’ll know that I just can’t stop using this in my recipes. Firstly, because it’s October and secondly because someone may have made a bulk batch of pumpkin puree out of three roasted pumpkins and literally has enough to survive through an eight year-long winter. Nothing wrong with that though, Pumpkin is great! Here are three of my favourite ways to start the day at this time in the season. 

Pumpkin Pie Porridge

Best enjoyed whilst going through hoards of Halloween themed Pinterest boards and Youtube videos - just in case you weren't already drowning in the October culture already.

Ingredients:

1/2 cup oats
2/3 cup water
1/2 cup pumpkin puree (If you want to save time/hassle and use the canned pumpkin puree, I've seen it sold in large Tesco's stores in the American section and also in Waitrose - look for Libby's pure pumpkin puree not pumpkin pie filling)
1/2-1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp mixed spice (can sub for 1/8 tsp ginger, cloves and nutmeg)
1/8 tsp allspice.
Sweetener to taste (I used a tsp of truvia as usual)

Instructions:

Throw all the ingredients into a small saucepan over a medium heat and stir to combine.
Heat for 3-5 minutes until cooked and thickened to your liking. The porridge can always be thinned with a little water or milk of choice if you find it too thick - but that's the way I personally like it .
Optional - top with a little extra cinnamon for the seasonal flare.

Pumpkin Spiced Latte Porridge

Best enjoyed before a busy morning of work to get you charged up and ready for the day ahead. This way, the call of Starbucks can also be kept at bay for that mid-morning caffeine craving.

Ingredients:

1/2 cup oats
1/2 cup boiled water
1/2 cup almond milk (or milk of choice)
1/2 cup pumpkin puree 
1/2-1 tsp coffee granules
1/2-1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp mixed spice (can sub for 1/8 tsp ginger, cloves and nutmeg)
1/8 tsp allspice.
Sweetener to taste (I used a tsp of truvia as usual)

Instructions:

Combine the coffee granules with the boiled water and stir till fully dissolved (I recommend using a kettle to boil the water however, alternative methods are permitted)
Then just chuck everything into into a small saucepan and stir to combine.
Heat for 3-5 minutes over a medium heat until cooked and thickened to your liking. Again feel free to adjust the consistency to your preference before devouring like a a beast to satisfy your PSL needs.

Pumpkin Cheesecake Porridge

Best enjoyed outside on a porch/decking area on those mornings where it's still sunny enough to watch as the leaves fall from the trees and the squirrel you  once contemplated suing begins to play with his nuts...

Ingredients:

1/2 cup oats
2/3 cup water
1/2 cup pumpkin puree 
1/2-1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp mixed spice (can sub for 1/8 tsp ginger, cloves and nutmeg)
1/8 tsp allspice.
Sweetener to taste (I used a tsp of truvia as usual)
2 tsp - 1 tbsp low fat cream cheese.

Instructions:

Ok, this is pretty similar to the Pumpkin Pie Porridge recipe and the method is pretty much the same.
Throw all the ingredients (except for the cream cheese) into a small saucepan over a medium heat and stir to combine.
Heat for 3-5 minutes until cooked and thickened to your liking.
Now, here comes the little extra twist (if you can call it that) - stir through your light cream cheese into the oats to enjoy a rich, creamier textured porridge that feels extremely decadent without any of the guilt. Honestly, low-fat cream cheese and oats are a winning combo!

So there you go, with this selection of frightfully festive porridge on offer, you need not worry about whether or not you read the gory version of Goldilocks to your little’uns at night – breakfast is going to be just as frightening albeit much more nutritious and probably less nightmare inducing.

Happy pumpkinning! (May it become a new commonly used phrase).