A Weekend of Chocolate and Chimps
Hello Chums, Long time no
see!
I hope you had a nice Easter
last week and enjoyed the celebrations regardless of whether they were focused
around Jesus, the Easter bunny or just simply eating as much chocolate as humanly
possible. Each to their own. J
Sorry for disappearing for a
bit but I’ve been attempting to transform into one of those social butterflies.
It’s going well although I don’t think I’m quite at the desired level yet,
maybe more of a social caterpillar i.e. sleeping in and sitting at the table in
the pub that’s the furthest away from everyone else are still situations that I find
very appealing and furthermore unlike a butterfly’s wings, my face is severely asymmetrical.
Think Picasso’s style of painting and you’re on the right track.
However, despite this slow
social metamorphosis I have been spending a lot more time with my friends
lately and as a result have managed to cram in a few adventures. Take the
Easter weekend for example; my good friends Amy and Katy and I took a two day
road trip westwards into a land of roads that almost go vertically up over
valley walls and villages so small that they can only possibly be inhabited by Playmobil
figures.
Ok, this may be a bit of an over exaggeration for the Wiltshire/Dorsett
area but in terms of the hills and villages that we came across, the
description is pretty apt.
What were we doing in this
particularly scenic part of the country I hear you ask? Well, over the two days
we visited both the insanely amazing Longleat Safari and Adventure Park and the thriving TV-famous
Monkey World. I can confirm that both are unbelievably fun and contrary to
belief you don’t have to accompanied by a young child in order to not look a
little… let’s say odd. Actually, truth be told, that kind of thing doesn’t bother me too much
anyway, I think odd is good so even if I did resemble a 5 foot 11 man-child
with a hyperactivity disorder for the entire weekend, I really don't see a problem. How
can you care when you’re surrounded by hoards of fluffy animals (that you can
feed from your car!)? Squeeeee!
You may be wondering that it
seems a specifically animal-themed way to spend the Easter holiday but actually
it makes perfect sense. Let me break it down. Traditionally, Easter is about Jesus and Jesus is in
the Bible and also in the Bible is Noah’s Ark, and on Noah’s Ark the animals
went in two by two, and at Longleat it's pretty much like Noah's Arc pre-flood and at Monkey World, it's all about saving the animals.
*Takes a big calming breath
to reduce over-excitement*
Therefore, this little trip actually made
perfect sense. I do so hope you agree. It was also very educational and considering
I have a degree in zoology, there are a surprising amount of things I didn’t
actually know about all the creatures great and small.
Here are some valuable life
lessons that I will take to my grave:
- Wallabies are strong believers in the ‘stare you down/come at us bro’ approach to strangers. Classic gang mentality there, I mean, clearly from this photo it’s obvious they were on the verge of breaking out into a west-side story number on us with aggressive pointed toes and intimidating hip thrusts.
- Camels are sassy wobble humps.That’s a bit of a bold generalization but at least one camel fitted this description enough to leave a lasting impression.
Look at the way he’s working
that corner away from the rest of the camels (who were on the other side of the
road sheltering from the rain like sensible organisms). Nothing says sassy like
saying ‘watch meehh cheeew mah straaaaaw’ to a bunch of strangers as they drive
by. This guy (dubbed Bruce) took the cheek to an even further level by deciding
to saunter across the road and block our path, presumably after one of the
other camels told him to stop being a tart and called him back to the herd.
All it takes is a few small
pieces of hacked up fish to turn the most puppy-faced sea lion into something
that makes the prospect of diving with sharks just that little bit easier,
consisting of 60% mouth, 30% eyes and 10% ‘Give me the fish sue!’
- Wolves prove that it’s possible to look both murderous and beautiful at the same time (unlike Edward Cullen who just looked angsty and pale).
I would like to think that
this is how I look first thing in the morning but I would also like to think
that I am related to Michelle Obama and have the ability to dance like Michael
Jackson.
These things are not true.
- This thing is unimpressed by general British Weather.
 |
| 'Please end me' |
Despite that fact that it did
rain on and off over the course of our two days away, it still by no means dampened our spirits. These puns though…
Anyway, it comes as no
surprise that over the course of the weekend the girls and I did a fair bit of
snacking. Yep, as part a road trip snacking was mandatory (it’s actually a law
I think… or should be at least) but just like I resisted the urge to smear the
outside of Katy’s car with banana skins to further attract Longleat’s monkeys,
as a group we managed to refrain from just eating fast food for the duration of
the 48 hours away from home. How did we do this? Well, in all honesty it wasn’t
too hard, we just packed a whole lot of food before leaving including: fruit,
nakd bars, sandwiches, crackers, peanut butter, and some healthy baked goods
that I had fun making the day before. Scrummy food + saving a little bit of money
= all of the thumbs up. Also, this meant that come Saturday night, none of us
felt guilty or too full for a treat of some hot and juicy burgers (I had one
topped with chilli, we duelled and I won).
One of the baked goods that I
brought along for the journey was the chocolate orange black bean brownies below.
Honestly, these are one of my favourite things that I’ve made to date and
despite the ingredients being completely unconventional, they taste amazing and
as a result they unsurprisingly didn’t make it to the end of the trip.
I’ll be the first to say that I cannot take
credit for these beauties. The recipe is based upon the black bean brownie
recipe used by the queen of healthy baking - Chocolate covered Katie. They are
dense, chewy, moist, gooey, rich, sweet and everything else you could want out
of a life partner. What’s also great about these brownies is their versatility;
simply swap out the orange extract for vanilla to achieve a more traditional
brownie taste or use peppermint extract for some festive treats you’ll consider
killing Santa over. High in Protein and much lower in unhealthy fats found in traditional brownies, these chocolate treats are
full of wholesome ingredients that are great fuel for your body. They’re also
vegan as well so that means that everyone can enjoy them. Brownies for
everyone! Wooooo!
I’ve linked the original
recipe to Katie’s blog below if you’d like to check it out (do, it’s incredible,
you’ll love it, I promise this girl can bake anything) as well as links to
Longleat and Monkey world’s websites in case you’re planning a little trip of your
own any time soon.
Have a fantastic start to the
week tomorrow and as the chimps at Monkey World would say:
Hoot! Agghhh! EeeeeAaaaaaa!
Ooooooooooo! (I hope we talk again soon/get the hell away from my yoghurt pot –
same difference).
Bye.
Chocolate Orange Black Bean Brownies
Makes: 8-12 brownies
Ingredients:
1 can of black beans (drained
and thoroughly rinsed)
¼ cup cocoa powder
½ cup oats
1/3 cup truvia or granulated
sweetener of choice e.g. xylitol, coconut sugar or even regular sugar
2 tbsp coconut oil
1/3 cup unsweetened apple
sauce or apple baby puree
2 tsp orange extract
½ tsp baking powder
Optional - a tiny pinch of salt to bring out the sweetness even more
Optional - a tiny pinch of salt to bring out the sweetness even more
Optional add-ins – chocolate chips,
nuts, dried fruit, orange peel, honestly anything mixed into a brownie tastes
good! Except haddock, don’t mix in haddock.
Instructions:
Preheat the oven to 180
degrees Celsius (I used fan oven which gets slightly hotter than a conventional
one but all appliances will vary).
Combine all of the
ingredients (bar any add-ins) in a food processor and blend until well
combined.
Stir in your extras (if
using) and then spread out into a baking dish lined with baking paper or greased
with oil/butter/cooking spray.
Bake in the oven for 20
minutes, remove and allow to cool (it will firm up some more as it cools and
transform into a dense, chewy and fudgy treat from the angels).
Enjoy!
Longleat Safari Park: http://www.longleat.co.uk/
Monkey World: http://www.monkeyworld.org/home.php
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